I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
