her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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