Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
