I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize
