just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
