i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
