idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
