he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize