i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
