Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
