smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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