i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
