Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize