i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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