he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
