I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
