i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize