I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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