Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
