And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
