return my video game
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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