i permit you to call me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
