I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
