You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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