It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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