So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
