Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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