I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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