um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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