Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dbzguy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!

Fav 9 1111 2539
share tweet
(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

Fav 27 2320 846
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

Fav 16 1344 5198
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....

Fav 10 4116 1327
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

Fav 30 1453 7238
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.

Fav 20 971 2157
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(607): View more from New York

Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.

Fav 3 1182 703
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+27): View more from South Africa

I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?

Fav 2 273 192
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..

Fav 1 11 42
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT