...so i touched it.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize