Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
