4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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