I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize