My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
