singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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