her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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