I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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