I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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