I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
