You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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