I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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