I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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