I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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