tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize