You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize