I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
