Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I will pee on everything he values.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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