When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
