New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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