yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
