i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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