We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize