Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
