I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Two words: blizzard sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
