Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
