Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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