I'm really into asian looking animals
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize