Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
