Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Your penis caused this!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
