i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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