is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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