i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
