I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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