He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize