your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
